Funny Valentine was the 23rd president of the United States of America, being inaugurated in 1889. Valentine never made it to the end of his first term, due to his infinite death on the shores of Philadelphia.

President Valentine was very popular during his election due to his relatability to the American people. As a child, Valentine dealt with the loss of his father who had become a prisoner of war, yet gave up no information. In his stead, Valentine joined the army, and only a year later became a POW himself. The damage left scars that coicidentally resembled the American flag on his back.

President Valentine is mostly known for his sponsorship of the famous Steel Ball Run, a horse-centered race across the United States of America. Readers may remember the winner, an unsuspected black man named Pocoloco. During the course of the race, various conflicts happened surrounding Valentine. These included various assasinations within and just outside the White House, and the supposed murders Valentine committed against the various racers, such as the acclaimed jockey Diego Brando. Valentine's term ended pre-emptively when he was thrown into the sea off the coast of Philadelphia, before being killed across the universe, forever.